Monday, October 3, 2011

Mr G&H's Farewell Tour ...

Ok so this is going to be a very long post in theory I should really break it into separate posts. However I have already loaded all the maps into this one and cant be arsed making everything separate again. So I will give you some time to go make a coffee get a biscuit and come back to what is a novel yet interactive post. Go on go make a coffee I'll wait .............. bored now ..... right I'm starting.

So a few weekends ago I did the trek north with two of my good mates. Whom have succumb to the temptress that is Auckland and decided to move there, instead of continuing to shake it out in Quakechurch. Now you can pretty much do the drive from Christchurch to Auckland in one day if you like. I have done Hamilton to Christchurch in one day and Hamilton is about 1hr south of Auckland. It does not make for a fun drive but it is doable.

But anyways Mr G&H decided to take a slow approach to the whole thing, and me well since I'm a Lady of Leisure these days I decided to tag along for the ride. It took about a week and half to complete this trip ending with me flying back to Christchurch.




Our first leg of the Journey was between Christchurch and Nelson. It does go through parts of the mountains but nothing like the Southern Alps so its much nicer drive and rather pretty. I spend most of the trip in the back seat either singing to myself or snoring and at times laughing at Mr H stressing himself out.

What road trip would be complete with out having the G-man along, yes Gary came along for the ride and as grump gnomes go he behaved himself most of the way. Except for when he got to Wellington but thats later in this post.

Since Nelson is the city were Mr H's mother reside we spend about 2 nights in Nelson itself. We helped her move to her new house, much to Mr H's annoyance. I however got to be butch and drive a tiny truck I named her Little Beyonce or Little B for short mostly because it had a small front and a massive ass.

While in Nelson we went to visit Natureland (I think thats what it was called), well if you ever find yourself there give it a miss. Unless your there with small kids then it might be worth it. Me however like anything that stinks of a Zoo and love seeing one of my kinsmen from Africa the Meerkat. I spend about 15min trying to figure out how I could steal this rather fat Meerkat but thought I might loose a finger or two in the attempt and gave it a miss.

They had a one legged Magpie that can say 'Hello' and I must say I rather like the noise magpies make and think that my next bird I acquire will be of the Magpie variety, well right after I buy Sebu a matching mate that she can rape and harass.

There is also a miniature train thingy near the fake zoo which also excited me beyond believe. Since we where having a day out with Mr H's little brothers this was of course was a must visit. Me and Mr H couldn't wait to get on the train or maybe it was just me. To be honest I wasn't really paying attention as I was fighting the urge to clap my hands every time one of them came past us.Actually I think I might have clapped once or twice.

Mr H, his brothers and me went on the small steam train for a ride. Mr G on the other hand would not get on the train and pulled some unhealthy faces at us and mentioned a few words and what we could do with them. I ignored this hating as I was focused on the cute little fire pit thingy it had and its cute little wheels and cute little coal wagon behind the .... what are they called they not a captain ... well behind the man that drives it.

Here is a video about the train ride if you are really that bored if not continue the novel that is this post below.


So after our fun filled time in Nelson it was sadly time to move onto our next destination Picton. Picton for those playing from the New World is a port town in the northern part of the South Island where the ferries from Wellington stop. If you want to get to Wellington without flying you have to catch the ferry no way around it. Well unless you want to be one of those stupid people that swims across the Cook Strait.

We arrived in Picton on a rainy dark night if we where in America I would have made sure that we had a black guy with us. Because arriving in Picton was a great set up for a horror movie and lets face it the black guy always gets it first in a horror. Well we finally found a place to stay, well once the lady behind the counter could find a clean room as she couldn't be bothered cleaning that day. That night we also ended up in an Irish bar, I used a public toilet that kept talking to me and Mr G&H discovered that oysters don't taste so nice the second time around.

The next day we made our way to the ferry terminal and yes I kind of giggled to myself due to the fact that 3 fairies was about to get on a ferry. This would be Mr G's first time on the ferry and yet again I got over excited due to this fact. All the fun facts that Wikipedia taught me about this journey was dancing around in my head however I tried to restrain my excitement and let Mr G enjoy the horror that is the Ferry.


To my disappointment the ferry ride was pretty uneventful there wasn't even the 7 metre and bigger swells that Cook Strait is famous for. The 2 1/2 hours which normal stretches to 3 went past pretty quickly. We did the customery walk around the boat about 400 times and Mr G&H smoked on every deck they could. We also made friends with some cows that was in a truck on one of the open decks. One of the cows had that look in its eye that I recognized as being a member of the 'Bovine Freedom Movement'.

Anyways we finally arrived in the Capital. After what seemed like hours we finally got of the boat but not after some aggressive commentary from Mr H in regards to other ferry goers and their driving abilities.

I must say that I do like Wellington its a much smaller city then Christchurch but it feels so much bigger due to all the high rise building squished into a very limited space around the harbour. I would never move to Wellington, especially since its pretty much build on where two tectonic plates meet, give me Quakechurch any day.We finally found a place to stay only problem was that it was on the 9th floor of some building. It was nice little apartment though except for the fact that every time Mr G&H would open the balcony door to go for a smoke my room would shake and freak the shit out of me. The thought of earthquakes and collapsing buildings spend some quality time in my head the reast of the night and yes I went to sleep with my ID on my person.

The next day Mr H went shopping/visiting a mate which gave Mr G the opportunity to stress this time, about parking. The stressing was more amusing then the shopping until a religious nut saw Mr H and his mate and ran up to them and stuffed some religious propaganda into their hands. I bet he went home and said to his wife "Love today I saved some Homosexuals"

We also found some interesting street art near the War Museum in Wellington. Gary told us he just found it and that it wasn't him. I for one don't believe his story at all that little gnome is no good I tell you no good.

After all the God fearing excitement we got back into the car and headed for Hastings. We finally reached it at night fall and let me just say this don't bother. We drove the extra 30 mins and went and stayed in Napier.

Napier like Christchurch also got flatten by an earthquake, theirs just happen in 1931. Strangely theirs happened the begining of February Christchurchs happened at the end. Thanks to that earthquake most of Napier is build in the Art Deco style and rather pretty. The beach at Napier however is rather strange. It has no waves and you get that 2012 feeling about it all. Saying that, Napier is well worth the visit.



 Mr G&H decided it was my turn to drive, personally I think Mr G just wanted my cubicle in the back seat so he could sleep. Mr G&H learned to regret this decision on more then one level. Firstly I love Marina's and seem to find them without trying Mr G&H on the other hand don't care much for them. Secondly somewhere in between Gisborne (which is a bit of a shit hole) and Whakatane the car started doing some strange things. Me, well I thought it was just the truck in front of us slip stream that was doing it to the car. It turns out I was wrong. I have the ability to get in a car that is running perfectly and if anything might be not be 100% in the car it will break. I got magic hands I tell you magic.

We ended up in some hick town in the middle of nowhere, where my kind probably get hunted for sport. Some short little girl had a look at the car and made me drive around the block as she put it (this town only had one street). She couldn't help us so Mr G decided to ban me from driving and banish me to the back again.

We continued on and after going through a mountain pass with a car thats making strange noises we crawled into Whakatane late at night.

The next Morning we went to Kelly's Garage if your ever in Whakatane and need your car fix go to them friendly bunch of people all the locals we spoke to said so to.

While we were waiting on the car we went for a wonder around the town looking for the beach. While we were trying to work out what direction north was an older gentlemen in his 80's over heard us and came over to tell us that none of us where right and that the beach was that was (imagine him point here).

Turns out his name was Jim and that he had family in Christchurch he also told us a lot about the township and how the town got its name, we ended up nicknaming him Jimpedia.

Whakatane is an absolutely beautiful place and I could quite happily live there. All the locals we met were friendly and happy to share their knowledge on their beloved town and one even offered to give us a ride back to town.

We got to see one of the Waka's that was used in the opening ceremony in Auckland for the Rugby World Cup and the statue in memory of the legend on how the town got its name.


The car was finally fix towards the end of the day don't ask me what was wrong with it. It had something to do with that big thing that makes noise under the front lid. But we embarked on our final leg of the journey the push towards Auckland. The drive there was pretty uneventful probably due to the fact that I napped most of it.

We did stop at Paeroa as its a must stop to get your piccie next to the giant soda bottle. (To read more about it here is a linky.) I opt to take Gary's picture as I'm a behind the camera kinda guy.

We finally arrived in Auckland later that night. After a few nights at Auntie S's place I moved my base of operations into Auckland Central and enjoyed a few nights on the town.

The very last bit of my trip up north before I got on a plane to fly home was to go visit Mrs RR on Waiheke Island its about 30min away from Auckland Central by ferry.

I knew it was where the rich and famous goes to holiday but wasn't to sure what to expect. But yet again it turned out to be an awesome wee place.

You can walk down the main road and see this beautiful bay just behind the shops and its not at all poshy as what I expect.Its got a really nice energy about it and has a massive creative community too, my kind of place.

Waiheke Island is on my list of place to go visit again, it does help that Mrs RR lives there. So yes if you find yourself in my part of the world this would be another place I would recommended you to go visit.

Oh I can't forget I also caught up with Ms B been ages since I saw her last and really enjoyed my time with her even if she is partaking in someone with the name Terry.

All in all it was a really nice trip up north with Mr G&H. I'm going to miss them lots here in Quakechurch. Their place was pretty much my second home to the point where the spare bedroom was referred to as my room.

However I'll see them real soon on my next adventure, which hopefully I would be able to confirm by the end of this coming week oh how exciting, I think I might weee my pants. I also promise my next blog entry will not be this long.

Till laterz

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