However I follow a blog called Blog Idle with Moata and she posted a rather funny blog today about Earthquakes and I fully agree with her. So instead of being witty and creative I just stole her blog post. Its as follows ....
The thing about earthquakes is that they can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pain or fear. They don't take bribes. They can't be cajoled or enticed. They have no deep, dark secrets with which they can be blackmailed. And they certainly don't give a crap about people complaining about them.
Nup, earthquakes, like taxes and telemarketers, show neither mercy nor consideration. Basically they're totally badass and not very nice. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And the thing about that is...people don't really know how to handle that. In this day and age when there's a Facebook group that lets you be politically "active" about everything from pet control to parking, child-smacking to chocolate (fairtrade, natch) it really does seem that Cantabrians should be able to sign a petition, "Like" a page or take part in a protest march against the great injustice of...geological processes.
See? It doesn't really work. You can't engage in an earnest email campaign against the earth, no matter how much it seems like you should be able to. At best all you can do is impotently shake your fist at the sky (it should really be in the other direction but have you ever tried shaking your fist at the ground? For some reason, don't ask me why, it's just not as satisfying).
I expressed the desire yesterday, while I was at work, to picket a fault line. Yes, to make signs that say "Earthquakes go home" and "down with this sort of thing" and troop up and down grumpily muttering about my right to live an earthquake-free existence and to complain bitterly to anyone who would listen about earthquakes stealing our jobs and homes, running rampant. The next thing you know they'll be marrying our women and using our cats in their cuisine. Damn them! Damn them to hell! It's enough to make a person quite fist-shakey!
When I mentioned this to my colleague (a relocated Brit) she was surprised that people weren't blaming the government for the earthquakes, because sure as eggs that's what they'd do back home. Having lived in the UK for a couple of years my reaction was one of those dry, wry half-laughs that you sometimes find yourself doing that doesn't so much express glee as it does bitter agreement.
Because, crazy conspiracy theories aside, we can't really blame the government for this one, which really just leaves us with a letter-writing campaign against the earth itself. Or, if you've a flair for the dramatic, a bit of focused group screaming.
But let's just say that you could protest earthquakes, what would your signs say? What catchy protest slogans would you hurl? (I'm in favour of "What do we want? No more quakes! When do we want it? Now!")
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